“ I loved him. I loved him.
I could have loved him an entire lifetime,
but life has a funny way of changing plans
and changing people until you can’t really recognize them anymore.
Even the days you swore you’d always remember
are begging to be forgotten eventually.
We all have phantoms we are trying to fall out of love with,
so here’s to the ghosts in the next room,
here’s to the parties we never danced at,
the people we never kissed,
and all the time we didn’t spend in love.
I wonder how many people could have chosen me,
could have carried me past the threshold of a house
that isn’t haunted and stayed there because they wanted to.
It’s a strange thing to know that even the living
aren’t all really alive at the same time.
And it’s a shame we couldn’t have all loved each other
the way we talked about,
with our hearts and our skin and our hands
and no time for sorry or polite or please.
I can’t tell you how many times I showed up
in the wrong dreams looking for his face.
One of these days my own will come back to me.
I just can’t remember what it looked like
when he wasn’t the one touching it. ”